The Middle Child of a Goal

What happens after launch and before whatever comes next

Hey friends!

There’s a joke about middle children. They get forgotten. Overlooked. Stuck between the oldest and the baby and nobody remembers their birthday.

I don’t think that’s right.

I think the middle child is the messy middle. They get treated like a big kid when they’re with the oldest — pulled up, expected to keep up, told to act older than they are. And they get asked to be a role model when they’re with the youngest — pulled back, expected to set the example, told to act like they’ve got it figured out.

The middle is doing two jobs at once. And both of them are somebody else’s idea of who they ought to be.

Our son Ben is our middle child. Poor kid has a sister on each end.

When I tell you he’s the definition of the messy middle, I mean it as a compliment. He’s never met a stranger — that’s Josh in him. He’s a good little brother and a good big brother at the same time. I don’t know how he pulls that off, but he does. He’s always up for mischief. He teases his sisters. He teases me. He teases his dad.

He’s all the good, mixed up in the chaos of being in the middle of two people.

I’ve been thinking about Ben because I think that’s where I am right now with the book.

I’m not at “Now What?” Not yet. The book just came out. The launch hasn’t even cooled off. I’m not ready to stand at the front of the room and say here’s what’s next.

But I’m also not at the beginning anymore. The thing’s out. People are reading it. The work that took me twenty years to do is, technically, done.

So I’m in the middle. The messy middle. Not a clean before-and-after. Just the in-between. And the in-between is awkward, and the in-between is where most of us actually live.

What I’ve decided is that I’m not in a hurry to leave.

I’m not at “Now What?” I’m at “Who’s up for ___?”

I don’t know what’s around the next corner. I’m not pretending to. And I’m not ready to move on from talking about The Nurture Method like it’s already in the rearview.

So I think I’m going to hang out here a while. Cause a ruckus. Be the kid who teases both sides because she still gets to.

xx, Heather